My name is (not really) Imogen Frowfrow, and I love the
gospel of Jesus Christ.
No, but seriously.
All I ever want to be be doing is talking about the
doctrines of the gospel with my buddies or teaching a lesson in Relief Society,
giving a talk in church or listening to conference talks on my iphone. I love
discovering one after another after another the connections, moments of
illumination, inspiration, and clarity that come when I immerse myself in the
Truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Also, sometimes being Mormon drives me crazy.
I am 100% in favor of service projects, cultivating
kindness, visiting teaching, scripture study and the profoundly powerful medium
of prayer and the way it connects me to God. I served a mission, I love church
history, modern prophets and revelation. However, there are certain elements of
daily life as a Mormon that drive me completely nuts. These are the things that
we have let permeate our religion that are in no way doctrinally supported. We
are a people of many traditions, for better or worse, and when it's for worse
we have a saying.
"Well, there's doctrine, and then there's
culture."
I like this phrase because it reminds me that, in those
moments where I'm in church and something feels terribly, horribly wrong, it
probably is wrong. This phrase reminds me that that's not God, that's just His
kids doing their best, so I don't have to reconcile my life to fit that ideal.
I am also deeply disturbed by this phrase because I've found that most
often it's used to justify the places our culture doesn't line up with our doctrines. In other words, it's telling us we don't have to practice what we preach. Some of these cultural elements are peripheral, silly, even
entertaining. Others are quietly eroding the souls of faithful Latter Day
Saints everywhere and these spiritual siblings of mine are leaving... en masse.
So what's a poor gal to do in a top down, patriarchal organization run by God Himself when a well meaning leader starts talking about the righteousness of a particular political party, the way God loves some of His kids more than others, or how even a barn looks better with a coat of paint on it? How can we break free from the endless routine of putting on a happy face for the free food activity doused in crepe paper when all we really want is something spiritually solid? When will we start answering from our souls in Sunday school instead of thoughtlessly resurrecting and reciting the responses of days gone by?
So what's a poor gal to do in a top down, patriarchal organization run by God Himself when a well meaning leader starts talking about the righteousness of a particular political party, the way God loves some of His kids more than others, or how even a barn looks better with a coat of paint on it? How can we break free from the endless routine of putting on a happy face for the free food activity doused in crepe paper when all we really want is something spiritually solid? When will we start answering from our souls in Sunday school instead of thoughtlessly resurrecting and reciting the responses of days gone by?
I used to feel somewhat helpless about this situation; victimized
by what seemed to be an overwhelming majority of people set on marching to the
beat of that drum. Then, I started saying what I actually think and feel, and
you know what? Turns out I'm not the only one in the drum line aching for a
cello. One of the most empowering days of my life was the day I realized that
I'm a part of Mormon culture too, and guess what? So are you.
My question is, how do we awaken more people's hunger for that something more spiritually solid? (And then feed that hunger before it leads them to spiritual starvation and jumping the LDS ship, but that all comes later.) I just feel like so many people are very comfortable with reciting the familiar responses. The routine is comfortable. They feel good about having all the answers. It feels safe. People kinda like complacency. And, yes, I'm thinking about the response to that one RS lesson!
ReplyDeleteI'm also thinking about all the times that an uber-conservative has self-righteously ranted to me about women and the priesthood issues, or about gay marriage issues, or anything else that causes Liberal Mormon Angst. (I'm going to start tagging things with #LMA, and you'll know what it means.:)) My typical response is, "Well, there's a LOT we don't really know about [fill in the issue]. There are some real questions to be asked. I personally have way more questions than answers. But I think God's ok with us asking questions. Actually, I think he encourages it. That's how continuing revelation works. If more people were asking, maybe God would reveal more." And then I get the judgmental eyes, like the other person is calculating how long it'll be until I just admit my apostate status. Even though I didn't state a single opinion! I took no stance on the issue! I swear all I did was put James 1:5 in my own words, with maybe a dash of the 9th Article of Faith mixed in, but on multiple occasions, it's earned me The Look from people who really like having all the answers. I think that as a people, we need to learn to ask questions and stretch our faith and knowledge, without feeling like we're betraying our faith.
Also. "Well, there's the doctrine, and then there's the culture." I think anyone who's ever experienced LMA, or any form or degree of a faith crisis, learned to cling to that one as a coping mechanism. It's definitely helped me, to understand what aspects of Mormonlandia are pertinent to my testimony, and what's just the culture. What I'm trying to learn now, though, is that it's ok to find beauty in Mormon culture too. Like you said, I am a part of Mormon culture, and it's a part of me, and it's ok to claim that. It's a tough lesson for me! It's hard to repress the urge to roll my eyes at the very phrase "Mormon culture." It brings all these images to mind that I've put so much energy into rejecting. The hardcore Fox News lover. The awkward, bumbling, never-seen-a-black-person-before, Utah stereotype. The girl who went to BYU to get her MRS degree. You know all the tropes. To me, they vary from toxic to harmlessly mockable. But.... there's no other culture on earth that I judge as harshly as Mormon culture. I love getting to know different cultures and their traditions and quirks, and I find so much beauty and raw humanity in all of them... I could view my own Mormon culture with a little more gentleness and respect. Working on it.
Kristine,
ReplyDeleteI will always remember that you were the very first comment on this blog : ) And what a comment at that! I feel like I want to just repost it as the next entry! I love so much of what you said and can relate completely. Especially powerful is that last part about the way we with LMA (hahaha) are so open and respectful of other cultures, but harsh on our own. I completely agree that there is no culture in the world I judge as harshly as ours. Thanks for the perspective! Maybe next week I will try interpreting sacrament meeting as if it were a case study in an anthropology class ; )
Sweet, first comment ever! That secured me a spot in your E! True Hollywood Story someday, right?
ReplyDeleteI really want LMA to catch on. It just came to me while I was typing that comment, but then I immediately felt like it should already be a thing. Help me make it happen? :)